sigelphoenix

When I was in college, I often had trouble making myself talk in class. This was for a couple of reasons, not just straight-up shyness or lack of confidence. I usually wanted to take the time to formulate what to say and how to say it - and often, by the time I did that, someone else had already said what I wanted to say, or the conversation would move on. I'm also not very good at thinking on my feet, so by the time I thought of something to contribute, someone else had already said what I wanted to say, or the conversation would move on ... or end completely. XD I would eventually become comfortable enough to talk more, a few weeks into the quarter after I'd gotten a better feel for the course material and the people in my class.

Unsurprisingly, I didn't talk much during the Q&A portions of the sessions I went to at the NWSA conference. I just didn't come up with questions for the presenters, or didn't feel confident enough to voice them. In fact, I didn't speak up until something like the fifth session I attended, which was also the last one I attended at all, on Saturday morning (I spent the afternoon writing my speech for our roundtable discussion ... and yes, I had a good reason for doing it that late :P).

I wish I could've done better. My professor told us that the most important part of conferences like this is networking, and being, you know, unable to talk made it difficult to meet people. On the other hand, I did what I could, and I can't beat myself up about it after the fact. Just do better next time I'm in this kind of situation.

( And then the roundtable discussion )

Now that I'm all unpacked and (mostly) de-jetlagged, I can talk about the conference. I will definitely talk about our roundtable later - thank you again to everyone who provided pre-conference support and post-conference congratulations - but the conference itself was definitely a significant experience on its own.

( geeky details below )

sigelphoenix leveled up!

sigelphoenix put 1 rank in the skill Perform (speak at national conference)!

sigelphoenix now has 1 rank in the skill Perform (speak at national conference)!

By this time tomorrow I will be well on my way to Chicago, from there to catch a transfer flight to Columbus, and then a rental car to Cincinnati.

I'm trying to be calm and confident, and remember all the encouragement people have given and the strong teammates I'll have with me and all the useful information I've researched. But I still seesaw into Scared Shitless Mode a lot. So if anyone has any useful advice for me (i.e. here are some de-stressing breathing techniques) please to be giving it now.

Also, I will effectively be away from email and such for the weekend. I think our hotel has free wireless Internet, but, alas, I do not have a laptop.

Will return late Sunday night. Will probably not be coherent or useful until Monday morning.

Monday
[x] gym
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch. 2

Tuesday
[x] cook food for this week's dinner
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch. 3

Wednesday
[x] gym
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch. 4

Thursday
[ ] gym
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch. 5

Friday
[ ] NWSA meeting
[ ] Black Sexual Politics ch. 6

Work on every day until done
[ ] notes for NWSA meeting
[ ] character creation (note to self: this is your break-from-work fun project, NOT Warmakers fic)

Weekend and beyond to be organized later
[ ] pack for Cincinnati
[ ] finish Black Sexual Politics
[ ] final notes/outline for talk

Note to self: Okay, self, you have had a nice and indulgent weekend, doing nothing more productive than writing fic. Then you had a fabulous time last night giving coramegan a proper send-off, and a lazy morning this morning besides. You have a lot of things you ought to do, all of which you want to do (or at least have done), so it's time to get crackin'.

Practical things
[x] eat lunch
[x] grab a shower
[x] eat dinner
[x] cook food so you have lunches for work

Fun things
[x] email GM #1
[x] email GM #2
[ ] email GM #3
[ ] make notes on Warmakers fic ideas ONLY IF TIME PERMITS

NWSA things (which are somewhere between practical and fun)
[x] Black Sexual Politics introduction
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch.1
[x] work on travel arrangements

Definitely don't want to be back in the office today, but the weekend makes up for it.

The weather was gorgeous throughout, and I got to enjoy it in the ideal way - for instance, on Saturday when it broke 90 degrees, I was actually inside for a meeting for the NWSA conference. We were at my professor's house, which has a lovely and open structure, so we got to enjoy sunshine and fresh air while still inside and mostly protected from the heat. I'm still wrestling with my (lack of) confidence regarding our presentation, but there's nothing to do but work through it (because there's no way in hell I'd quit ;D).

That evening, I helped celebrate redbird's 21st birthday. :D

Sunday was slightly cooler and hit the perfect pleasantly warm temperature. Luckily, that was the day I hit up the Street Fair and got to hang out and eat fair food with folks. However, after the others tired out and returned indoors, I decided I hadn't bought enough shinies, took a brief rest, and went back out. XD I walked away from the fair with gorgeous hair jewelry (which I really have enough of, but they were a unique style, and also relatively inexpensive), earrings from these folks (only three pairs!), and two broomstick style skirts. (After all this, it's probably for the best that nothing from the BPAL update this month pinged me, so I won't be making yet another order. XD;;)

I also spent time wrangling my characters for the conclusion of Warmakers - which is this weekend! (Eep.) Part of me can't believe that we're at this point and feels all wooby and in denial, while, paradoxically, part of me can't wait. 8D

This week should be a little less busy and structured, in terms of my to-do list. I want to maintain my productivity, though, so I'm still laying out my goals.

Fun goals (work on one of these every day)
-write fic(s) for Warmakers episode 24
-draw at least one 4-koma
-make Sae's new character design (hopefully to result in some substantial drawing, though that may have to wait until next week)

Less-fun goals (also work on one of these every day)
-gym x 3
-revise resume
-read NWSA write-up
-write my own NWSA write-up
-grocery shopping for weekend events

Tentative schedule

Monday
[x] gym
[x] revise resume
[x] finish(?) another thousand words on fic #1

Tuesday
[x] gym
[x] cook dinner for the week
[x] level 21 character sheet for Sae
[x] finish fic #1

Wednesday
[x] read NWSA write-up
[x] sketch out (or more) the two 4-koma that popped into my brain

Thursday
[x] gym
[x] meet ratzeo for dinner ♥

Friday
[x] grocery run
[x] ink 4-koma

Saturday
[x] NWSA meeting
[x] birthday party

Sunday
[x] U-District Street Fair
[x] level Sae to 23
[x] levelstart building Khag

1. Yesterday's geeky morning was followed by today's geeky morning, wherein ratzeo and I spent the bus ride theorizing about Warmakers. 8D

2. The Open Source Boob WTFuckery has been countered with the Open Source Women Back Each Other Up Program, joined by the Gentlemen's Auxiliary.

3. I'm wearing "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" today. The reviews promised a floral scent with a sharp, cold edge. What I'm getting is a pretty floral that's definitely not gentle, but, alas, not the edge I was looking for. Still, it's quite lovely, so I like it a lot. But this means that my search continues for a perfect BPAL scent for Sae. 8D

4. This. Yeah.

5. Progress on The Macho Paradox goes slowly, but steadily. (Rather than beat myself up on the low number of pages I've read, I will focus on the good: that I've been making consistent progress on a theory - however light - book for the first time in months.) My next NWSA research book, Black Sexual Politics, arrived at my house this morning, and The Cult of True Victimhood shipped out today.

Last night was pretty bad in terms of productivity - my brain rebelled at the homework-like reading load I attempted, so I was unable to concentrate on anything more rigorous than Picross. I decided to let that happen and take the evening off, with the plan of buckling down again today.

So, in the meantime, to keep my spirits up, here's today's happy list:

1. I ran into coramegan on the bus this morning, and we chatted about Warmakers and Next Time Gamers. Gave me a great geeky start to the day. 8D

2. Today the University put on a staff appreciation lunch event. Free burgers and lovely sunny weather to go with.

3. Making final arrangements for the NWSA conference - booking plane tickets and requesting time off work. It's a little scary, but the kind of scary that has been associated with some of the best things I've done.

4. Finalized the plan for my date with shadawyn at Pike Place Market on Saturday. :D

5. And, uh, this one's super-nerdy, but ... our GM is laying down plans for the end of the Warmakers campaign. I'm still new to the experience of playing through and finishing campaigns, so the idea still makes me wooby. And throughout the day, I've just been imagining a sort of "AMV" for the campaign (because it's anime-based and I totally envision it done as an anime) set to the over-used, slightly cheesy, "At The Beginning." There are bits and pieces from the campaign that I think would be fun to see animated and set to the music.

... WHAT. I said it was super-nerdy. Don't judge me.