sigelphoenix

I wish that being around impressive people left me feeling more inspired than intimidated. Right now it's the other way around.

When I'm in my element - when I know the parameters of a situation - I feel like I have the confidence and energy to be as fierce as I need to be. But I'm not a natural leader; when I don't know my way around a situation, I sit back (hide) and wait and watch. In my current mental and emotional state, this results in letting inertia take over and me not moving beyond this point. And then I feel bad. But if someone comes along who knows (enough of) what they're doing, and acts, I feel inspired ... and then intimidated because I know so little, and have done so little. And then I feel bad. When really I want to be ... if not fighting alongside them, at least supporting them actively.

Sorry for the crypticness. I don't think the details are important here, so much as the general trend.

I've gotten to the point where I haven't posted anything in so long that I feel like what I do end up posting ought to be significant in proportion to the amount of time I haven't blogged. But then I feel intimidated, so I don't write, so I feel like my next post should be even more significant, and so on.

So I'm just going to write down one-paragraph thoughts, rather than sitting around and hoping they grow into full-fledged posts.

( On food )

( On naive characters )

( On 'The Last Airbender' and my pet peeves against certain protestors )

Undercovers, a new show by J.J. Abrams slated to start in fall, is an action-drama about a husband and wife spy team.

That husband and wife, Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw, are also Black. I'm excited and intrigued, because the last time we've had prominent Black characters like this on mainstream U.S. television has been ... never?

Also, Gugu Mbatha-Raw played Tish Jones, a.k.a. the sister of Martha, in Doctor Who. 8D

I was going to write an entry about my angst over failing to save the world (insert self-mocking hyperbole here) due to how my employment by an institution results in my complicity with the institution, and how I know it must be possible for me to use my (limited but existent) power as a cog in the machine to do some substantial good, but I haven't been able to figure out how yet. I was going to - but I'm feeling tired and not really up to that level of self-dissection, plus I have a best friend (and, not so incidentally, roommate) who is willing to sit and look at me and listen to me, even though he doesn't know how to solve my problem, and for now that's actually what I need.

So, instead, I will share a recipe for oven-fried chicken that makes me wiggle with pleasure.

As always, I have some tweaks: first, use as much salt as you are comfortable with, rather than what's written. The recipe calls for soaking the chicken in water with 2 tablespoons of salt, then adding 1 tablespoon of salt to the flour coating, then sprinkling with salt before serving. While I know that the chicken doesn't pick up most of the salt in the water or the flour, that still seems like way too much to me. I went ahead and used the 2 tablespoons in the soaking water, but reduced the salt in the coating to a teaspoon, and didn't add any salt after cooking - and it still was a bit too salty for my taste. (I did add a tablespoon of lemon pepper to the flour mixture, but it was this salt-free blend.) My recommendation would be to keep the salt when soaking the chicken, because it seems to do some sort of useful brining action; but eliminate the salt in the flour coating. You can always add salt to taste afterward.

I supplemented the chicken with white cheddar macaroni and cheese (note that I used 1% milk instead of whole, because that's what I have on hand, and it tastes fine and creamy enough to me), and oven-baked asparagus. (Toss asparagus spears with a teaspoon or so of olive oil - just enough to lightly coat - and sprinkle a bit of sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, while you heat the oven to 400-425 degrees Fahrenheit. Put your baking sheet/pan in the oven while it preheats, so when you drop the asparagus in it sizzles. Bake the asparagus for at least 5 minutes, no more than 10, until just tender.)

And now I'm drinking the blackberry soda I had with dinner, and I'm feeling pretty content.

FEMINIST HULK on Twitter!

Judith Butler loltheorist!

The 5 Most Half Assed Apologies for Historic Crimes! (Shockingly, the list is made up primarily of white people.)

Snark against DC Comics' blind perpetuation of white privilege! (Note: Spoilers for recent events, specifically in the new Titans: Villains for Hire.)

I love the Internet.

This morning I had to call tech support for the second time to remove malware from my computer. *sigh* I don't get it - I'm normally such a responsible surfer, and the only links I click on are from the (major, trusted) websites I frequent. It goes without saying that I don't download programs or anything (especially when I'm at work) ... So, yeah, started off this morning feeling pretty dumb.

I decided to splurge a bit and go to the hospital cafeteria for lunch, even though I have food here I could eat, and got pizza and soda. Then on my way back to the office I knocked my tray against the door and spilled my soda. -_- (Luckily the spill was on the outside-side of the door, so I just wiped it up and didn't fret about staining the concrete.)

Partially because I didn't get my caffeine fix, and partially because tech support was in my office again this afternoon (not my fault this time), I went on a coffee break. And I'd filled up my "buy 10 get 1 free" card, so I splurged and got a bigass iced latte, with hazelnut and caramel goodness. It's pretty tasty.

... My life is pretty boring. XD Not every day can be a "live music downtown" day, I suppose.

... Though tonight is my weekly night of watching Dancing With the Stars with lunapome and starbird, which sorta (not really) counts. 8D

I saw Vienna Teng! And then I met Vienna Teng! And then Vienna Teng signed my CD! And also complimented my Tokidoki purse, which was cool. :D

And I was horribly shy and awkward, which I tend to get ... always, when I meet people whom I admire but do not know. But she and Alex Wong (her co-performer, I guess you would call it - he did backup vocals and instruments, and produces and arranges with her) were very polite. And to my credit, I was not shy and awkward and long-winded, just shy and awkward. When Alex commented on my copy of the CD looking well-worn, I did blurt my story of how I came to see them last year, when the album (Inland Territory) had just come out, and I even had my own fresh new copy; but I assumed she wouldn't be available for signing things so I left it at home and ended up kicking myself ... but since that story took up just enough time for Vienna and Alex to finish autographing the CD, and kept me from staring awkwardly at them, I'm okay with having told it. Even if it wasn't a particularly interesting story. |D;;

Any other Vienna Teng junkies out there? (If you don't know her, I highly recommend checking her out.) She's releasing a live album on May 17!

I'm going to highlight my cats today (er, more than I usually highlight them) because they are the greatest simple pleasure in my life, and simple pleasures get overlooked a lot.

1. They spoon. They spoon each other sometimes, as you've already seen. But they also like to spoon with the humans. Sometimes when I'm going to sleep, they'll hop on the bed, nose at the edge of the covers, and make inquiring little trills. I lift the covers, and they burrow in, then settle themselves in as the little spoon. When Drannor spoons, he likes to lie against my chest, with his head about level with mine, whereas Kershach nestles against my stomach (he is the baby of the family, after all). Of course, they only do this when the stars are aligned in that esoteric way that cats require, but I've gotten the pleasure of kitty spooning nearly every day over the last few days. The feeling of a purr vibrating against your heart as you fall asleep is really what pure Happy feels like. (Last night I almost fell asleep with Drannor that way, but he got up because ratzeo got home, and of course he had to go greet him.)

2. Kershach sighs when he slips from a cat nap into actual deep sleep. It's funny to hear or feel him when he draws in this long breath, because you know it's about to whoosh out at once as he goes solidly unconscious. I don't know if all cats do this, but I found out that Drannor does, last night when we were spooning. ♥

3. They make funny noises. Really, I don't think I've ever met a cat that doesn't make at least some funny noise or other. Trilling, burbling, grumbling, grunting - they can be inquisitive, whining, annoyed, or "hey, look!" calls for attention. Drannor also seems to leak noise - it happens when he's lounging and it isn't that air is being pushed out of him; he just sometimes lets out "urrrm" sounds like he forgot to turn off his voice. XD

4. I said that Kershach is the baby of the family, and he really is. He still gets pouty over the attention we give Drannor, and sometimes he sits in his bed by the window and ignores us like an emo kid. But unlike an actual emo teenager (whom I would probably end up wanting to drop-kick), Kershach is really easy to win over. You just pet him and love him until he grudgingly starts up his purr motor, and then it's *click* *click* *VRRRRRRMMM* as he revels in getting pettins. If he's on the floor, he sometimes flops on the spot to show how happy he is.

5. Like I said, cats are simple, and however intelligent they are, they can't fully understand when I feel sad or upset. But one time I was crying and I went and hugged Kershach while he was lying in the cat tree, and he let me squeeze him and cry in his ear and get his fur soggy, and he didn't squirm away. And then Drannor jumped onto the tree with one of his inquisitive trills, looked at me, and started licking my forehead. ♥