sigelphoenix

Title: Journeys
Characters: Sae, mentions of Gunnar, Nariko, Khag
Warmakers Adventure: 23
Word Count: ~1300
Summary: The Guardians travel towards M-tor, and Sae moves closer to who she wants to be.
Notes: This fic is intended to (among other things) contextualize two changes to Sae's character build. With the retcon, she gained one level of the Dreadnought class, granting her the Fearless ability. Also, at level 21 she will be taking the Leadership feat.

Space travel is a lot more crowded than it used to be for the Guardians.

Their first couple of times, they went to the moon in cramped shuttles that Miya and Rex piloted with the ease of steering a bicycle. Now they're flying in ships built for war, and they carry nothing short of an army with them: human and goblin workers who will contribute to the fight against the devils. Then they picked up elves. Then dwarves.

Sae keeps to herself, generally venturing out of her room only to train with Gunnar or visit other Guardians. She stays away from the anonymous horde of passengers, and they generally stay away from her.

They seem more interested in the other Guardians, anyway: Reika, Gunnar, even Rex. For that, Sae is glad.

***

Watching Reika with her army is strange.

Once upon a time, Reika drew people to her with personal charm, winning their favor with her cute smile or innocent flirtations. Now she still has that same magnetic pull - even more, because she now has hundreds of people hanging on her words - but it's different. A little subtler. Less about being winsome herself and more about being the Leader and impressing people with her authority and dedication to the mission to save Gaia Earth.

It's still Reika, Sae thinks, just on a grander scale. Just like Sae is doing what she's always done and acting as her sister's support - even if that support has never been so dangerous, or so bloody.

Sae supports Reika by helping to train the human fighters, letting them use her as target practice with swords and rubber bullets. It's not as challenging or invigorating as her training sessions with Gunnar, but it is gratifying in a different way. She's happy to help prepare more soldiers for the war against the devils.

At one point, one of the groups of fighters follows her out of the training hall after their session, rather than going to find Reika or Gunnar or someone. But they're done with the practice; these people are looking for something different from her, something she doesn't have.

She doesn't know what to do, so she just stares at them blankly.

For some reason, she is suddenly reminded of the hopeful, expectant gaze of that Yamadera-kun boy, waiting for her after school all those years ago. Looking for something from the wrong person.

"Um ..." she says, her voice loud in the anticipatory silence. "You should go to the bridge if you want to find Reika. Uh, my twin," she adds, on the off chance they've just mixed the sisters up.

Thankfully, like Yamadera-kun, they leave.

***

Sometime during their traveling, the fear that has been weighing cold and heavy on Sae's heart dissipates. She no longer worries what hidden influences lie dormant in her blood, or lies awake at night fearful of the changes in her body. Perhaps they are effects of her Guardian identity, rather than her Hashimoto bloodline. Perhaps they were merely hallucinations, tricks played by her tired mind after exhausting battles.

Regardless, she is no longer afraid.

She doesn't quite know when it happened. Maybe it was after Quarran, when Nariko, Kyoko, and Ichiro stayed behind on the planet to euthanize the tainted Gaia - the danger they faced was so huge, so immediate, that other fears necessarily felt smaller.

Maybe it was then, but not on the planet - rather, on the ship itself. Miya fell terribly and mysteriously ill, and there were many long, tense hours during which they waited for her condition to either get better or irrevocably worse. But she didn't need healing. Instead, she changed, her body undergoing a metamorphosis that brought her closer to the form of a dragon.

Maybe it was seeing Miya's transformation - into something different and beyond human, but ultimately into a body that is a part of her true identity - that ended Sae's fear of the changes that a person's physical vessel could undergo.

***

Sae also finds herself less scared when it comes to her relationship with Gunnar. Maybe it's because they've been boyfriend and girlfriend long enough that she is no longer afraid that everything will suddenly fall apart, or that she'll do something horribly wrong. Whatever it is, her anxieties are fading, and it's easier to talk with Gunnar and be around him without feeling nervous.

Though she still nearly chokes on her spit when he asks her, "Are you mad that we're not having sex?" and only an act of supreme muscular control keeps her from dissolving into a hacking fit.

The familiar fear threatens to rise in her, the insinuating voice that whispers the possible catastrophic consequences of her answer. But Sae clamps down on it - and that actually works - and they talk. About what she wants, and what Gunnar wants. And Sae tries as best she can to share with Gunnar how happy she is with the pleasure and strength his body bestows upon hers, through physical intimacies from kissing to training her in his fighting disciplines.

She promises to wait for him until he's ready. Just as, once, he waited for her.

***

They have three days to wait in their ship on M-tor before the khar will let them out onto the surface of the planet. The rule seems more about ritual than science to Sae, and she feels anxious to get on with meeting the khar and returning to Earth; but there are diplomatic considerations to accommodate, so she's willing to wait.

Rex fiddles with their ship to get them access to Khar radio stations, and they spend the next three days learning about the planet by listening to their news and entertainment. Most of the society's activities seem to revolve around hunting: hunting that is necessary for survival, but also athletic competitions for recreational purposes.

Sae realizes, listening to the radio announcements, that the khar regularly engage in grueling tests of strength, endurance, and skill, for the pure enjoyment of it.

She's suddenly a lot more interested in meeting them now.

***

They have giant cats.

***

Upon hearing the details of the khar's Great Hunt, Sae feels a surge of excitement. She would have preferred the ritual combat, because hunting is generally beyond her - but it sounds like they shouldn't have any trouble finding a beast that stands over 15 meters tall.

Nariko turns to her, and the Hunter's eyes are shining with anticipation. Her enthusiasm sweeps up Sae, and they chatter together about how they will find and fight this beast, and Nariko doesn't think it at all weird to be excited about tracking down a giant monster and beating it up just for fun.

Sae rather likes Nariko.

***

Khag is the khar who greeted them when they were released from their ship, and has been taking the lead in the communications between the khar government and the Guardians. Sae likes his straightforward, unembellished nature. It reminds her of the dwarves they met at the Hidden Fleet; the difference is that the dwarves were far more interested in Gunnar as a warrior than herself, whereas Khag looks at her and calls her predator.

She does find the delineation between predator and prey a little simplistic - especially since it overlooks the unique strengths of Guardians like Reika - but she can see the appeal of it. There is something predatory about Sae, about Nariko, that is not present in every Guardian, regardless of how skilled or deadly they are. Perhaps not even in Gunnar the Slayer.

There is an acceptance of the body in the title predator: an acknowledgment of the power of hunters and fighters, not gilded with an idealistic purpose, or hidden beneath shame.

So when Khag finishes explaining the Great Hunt, the test that will mark the Guardians as worthy of the khar's alliance beyond any diplomatic talking or intricate politicking, Sae meets his gaze - and smiles.