sigelphoenix

I am apparently very suggestible, at least when it comes to shadawyn. :P She mentioned that I was one of the only players who hadn't written fic for this latest adventure (which was because I didn't have any story ideas), and then several phrases and ideas immediately popped into my head.

Oh well. Can't complain.

Be warned that Sae is (still) a wangsty teenager. But she's learning, bit by bit.

Title: Contrast
Characters: Sae, mention of Rex
Warmakers Adventure: 15
Word Count: ~700
Summary: Differences - and the discomfort they cause - can be educational.

Amidst the chaos of the demon attack in the White House, it takes Sae a long time to find out that the United States president is not missing, kidnapped by monsters, but rather dead.

Then she finds out that Rex killed him.

Her head spins with the revelations - not only that her fellow Guardian killed the president, whom they were trying to win over as an ally; but that he did so because Garrick Cross was actually a demon, a succubus masquerading as a human.

But the fact that shakes her the most is how little time it took for Rex to make his decision. He killed the president with his psionic powers when the man made a questionable movement, Rex explains blithely. Only afterward did he discover what that movement was intended for - that the president was going for a button that would release an unidentified monster. And only after that did Rex discover that the president was a demon.

Sae doesn't know whether to laugh or rage at the explanation. On the one hand, Rex could have killed an innocent human with his impulsiveness. But what actually happened was that he prevented the release of a dangerous monster, and took down a succubus who was attempting to deceive the entire United States.

Sae doesn't know Rex's reasons - doesn't know if he really understood the risks and made a calculated choice, or if he acted blindly just to see what happened. But she knows that, with barely a moment to act, he made a decision, and it was the right one.

She doesn't know if she could do the same thing.

Rex's entire demeanor is the stark opposite of Sae's. He is outspoken, gleefully disruptive; committing outrageous actions with perfect aplomb. He is, always and unapologetically, himself.

Sae can't seem to do anything without thinking about it first, or at least doubting herself when she doesn't. If she doesn't consider her words carefully, she ends up being rude to the people she talks with. She doesn't know how to act around Gunnar at all. Sae is used to studying and taking her time thinking about books and papers, not reacting to the crazy situations that keep popping up around them.

Even when it comes to being a Guardian, she still isn't sure. Her powers and her connection to Cyrus the Great should be enough to tell her that she's supposed to fill this role, but she still isn't sure. She doesn't feel like some noble hero, not like Reika, or Miya or Nariko. She doesn't feel impassioned about saving the world, just calm and determined.

The things she feels most strongly about are small things: protecting her own home, saving the people she loves, living up to the trust that others put in her. But are those things enough to make up someone's "destiny"?

The only thing that Sae does unthinkingly, the only thing that happens without her questioning herself, is physical action. Before, when they were all normal teenagers, this meant things like sports and dancing. Now, it means fighting and killing.

Sae is proud of her strength in combat, and she likes being one of the most powerful fighters on the team. But she doesn't know how deep that fighting instinct goes, especially at those times when her body courses with energy or ferocity she barely understands.

Maybe Gaea gave her this kind of power on purpose, and she should trust it. Or maybe Gaea gave her too much power as a test, to see if she is worthy of being a Guardian.

Sae still doesn't know. And people like Rex don't make things easier for her when she's already uncertain.

Sometimes Sae finds herself envying him. He might act unthinkingly - but he also acts fearlessly. And what he's done so far has been right, at least for him. It makes Sae think about her own behavior, and consider herself in a different light. Sometimes, she wishes she could act more like him, at least in some ways.

But she knows she will never tell him all this. And she will never, ever admit to the "Rex Effect."