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sigelphoenix at 09:02am on 22/06/2005 under feminism and sexism, personal stuff, sexual violence and harassment
sigelphoenix at 09:02am on 22/06/2005 under feminism and sexism, personal stuff, sexual violence and harassmentTo get to work, I take one bus from my house to downtown, and then transfer to another bus that gets me close to my workplace. This morning, as I was getting on my second bus, a man sat down in the seat next to me. He looked youngish, maybe late twenties-early thirties, wore a dress shirt and slacks, and carried a copy of the Seattle Weekly. He asked me what I was reading, and I showed him the cover of my book (The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf); then he asked me what it was about (feminist theory on the role of "beauty" in society as a controlling force). He was sure it was interesting, he said, because he saw me reading it for a long time at the busstop.
I am always a little nervous when strangers talk to me, especially on the bus. But when he said that last thing, I felt very wary. He had been watching me? For a long time? At a downtown busstop? Why?
Of course I didn't feel seriously threatened. Like I said, the man was dressed in typical business wear; and while that isn't an indication of character, it did mean that he had business being downtown, and wasn't just hanging around watching women. And we were in a public place, etc. etc. I do remember, though, that thrill of worry I felt, however briefly, about this man who was talking to me.
There could be many reasons for feeling like this. The man was on a city bus, a site notorious for off-kilter people. He was older than me, perhaps a reason to be suspicious. He was black, so I could have been paranoid about criminal stereotypes. But even if all that wasn't true, I think I would have felt the same. The fact remains that a man I don't know, of any age or color, is a potential threat to me because I'm female. It's why I don't just protect my wallet when I'm downtown or walking on the north end of the Ave. It's why I become suddenly aware that my shirt has a low collar and zip up my jacket, even when it's warm. Being female is automatically vulnerable.
It's an interesting thought. I often feel that many of the issues raised as "women's issues" don't apply to me -- not that they aren't legitimate, but that, because of lucky circumstances, I've never faced gender discrimination in work or school, sexist family pressures, sexual harassment, things like that. I can understand them in theory, but not personally. But this, being worried about simple safety because I'm female? I get that.
I am always a little nervous when strangers talk to me, especially on the bus. But when he said that last thing, I felt very wary. He had been watching me? For a long time? At a downtown busstop? Why?
Of course I didn't feel seriously threatened. Like I said, the man was dressed in typical business wear; and while that isn't an indication of character, it did mean that he had business being downtown, and wasn't just hanging around watching women. And we were in a public place, etc. etc. I do remember, though, that thrill of worry I felt, however briefly, about this man who was talking to me.
There could be many reasons for feeling like this. The man was on a city bus, a site notorious for off-kilter people. He was older than me, perhaps a reason to be suspicious. He was black, so I could have been paranoid about criminal stereotypes. But even if all that wasn't true, I think I would have felt the same. The fact remains that a man I don't know, of any age or color, is a potential threat to me because I'm female. It's why I don't just protect my wallet when I'm downtown or walking on the north end of the Ave. It's why I become suddenly aware that my shirt has a low collar and zip up my jacket, even when it's warm. Being female is automatically vulnerable.
It's an interesting thought. I often feel that many of the issues raised as "women's issues" don't apply to me -- not that they aren't legitimate, but that, because of lucky circumstances, I've never faced gender discrimination in work or school, sexist family pressures, sexual harassment, things like that. I can understand them in theory, but not personally. But this, being worried about simple safety because I'm female? I get that.