sigelphoenix

So what do you do when everything you read seems to conspire to piss you the fuck (the comments, not the post) off (ditto)?

Clearly, the answer is to ruthlessly mock a fuckwit.



Feminism and the Ignorant Woman
By Amanda Sposato

I hate to interrupt our momentum so early in the game, but - please, can we have a moment of silence to honor the irony of that title? It's just so, so perfect.

Feminism: 1. Belief in the social, political, and economical equality of the sexes; 2. The movement organized around this belief (http://www.dictionary.com)

Ooh, it's one of those Webster's-gives-me-my-truth types! She's probably one of those people who likes to whip out the dictionary definitions of "sexism" and "racism" too, huh? Cause you know, men and white people suffer just as bad from prejudice - some white dude told me so!

People like that are just so darn cute.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a woman through and through,

"Unlike those mannish lesbo feminists, of course! I still recognize that the level of my femininity is tied directly to how many erections I can trigger. Remember, ladies, if you're looking for self-worth, look no farther than a man's testicles!"

... Am I being too harsh? Maybe I'm being too harsh. Enough anti-feminist/misogynist bullshit will do that to you. Let's give this writer a chance and see what she has to say.

and the idea of equality in society, goverment, and the world in general is appealing to me. I don't particulary want to spend my life working for a man, having my ass grabbed and being ordered to take dictation, make his coffee, and answer his phones.

I guess she's not so bad ...

Luckily, this is the new millenium and not the 1950s, so I guess I don't have anything to worry about, right?

... just desperately ignorant.

The other day I read a short blog about a self proclaimed feminist who was angry about the fact that her employer had offered to explain the maternity leave policies to her upon her hire. From the short rant, I did not gather that she was of a size that pregnancy was an issue, nor did I take it that she was being sexually harassed in any form.

Because the only reason you would have to be offended is if someone dared to imply you were fat. Heaven forbid.

Okay, and the possibility of sexual harassment - good on the writer for recognizing that risk. But what about, say, the fact that this boss was clearly operating on the, "You're a woman so you have babies" assumption? The same one that many employers use to justify denying women promotions (because they're not team players since they'll run off to have babies)? The same one that people on the street use when they assume that a woman who's childless at 40 (or even 30) is somehow sad and unfulfilled?

The girl made it quite clear that she wasn't pregnant. Apparently, the man's mistake had been in assuming that she'd ever want children in the first place, and that it was highly sexist of him to assume that just because she was female that she was automatically required to understand how the company could help her were she to decide to ever carry a child.

No, it was "highly sexist of him to assume" that she needed the maternity leave policy. And furthermore, that she needed to have it told to her the moment she was hired, rather than the boss trusting her to be intelligent enough to look it up herself.

Yes, the boss was probably trying to be helpful. The problem is, he was offering his help with a good bit of condescension and sexual-role-assumptions thrown in. It's like the door-opening dilemma - sure, it can be an act of politeness. It can also say a whole helluva lot about what you think of gender roles and dominance (men should do it for women, and if women do it for men it's emasculating), as well as entitlement (I give you chivalry = you do as I say). Sometimes good intentions can be misinterpreted by a woman, sure. But you have to cut them some slack, since they have to deal with a whole lot of asshattery in this arena.

My own sarcastic nature, a bit outraged, decided that it would be great if she took that to court. Not only would it make her feel justified, but then all the poor women in the workforce who actually did want children at some point could be left completely in the dark when it came to their own employer's pregnancy leave polices.

Yeah, because telling an employer not to assume anything about a woman's family plans means telling him to stop providing pregnant women with support.

Look, the feminist was trying to say that generalizations about the group (women get pregnant) should not have been applied to her. Clearly, she advocates being recognized as an individual, and not having options imposed upon her. So why would she want to impose her choices on other women, and affect their access to pregnancy resources? Don't assume that a female employee will or won't get pregnant - is that so hard?

Feminism at its ignorant best.

Stones and glass houses, sweetheart.

Sometime ago, my boyfriend decided to wear a highly offensive sweatshirt in public.

Was it one of these?

Because you know, nothing says "funny" like trotting out tired assumptions about the sexual availability of women as objects for men!

... Or maybe, you know, actual humor says "funny" better. I get it mixed up sometimes.

While walking out of the student union at his campus, he was cornered by a self proclaimed feminist who lit into him about not respecting woman and blaming his sense of humor for the problems with today's society.

"Oh my god, the nerve of these women! Complaining to their bosses and criticizing a man with a dubious sense of humor! When all they have to worry about is sexual harassment, forced pregnancies, relationship abuse, sexual violence, media obsession with their bodies, obstacles to education and employment, and unequal representation in the government! Won't someone think of the men??"

By the way, I'm sure you weren't pre-judging based on stereotypes of feminists as hysterical. Or the idea that criticizing privileged groups = self-interested, irrational screeching. Not at all.

Apparently, freedom of speech is only allowed if you're a woman.

"Because criticizing someone clearly means that you're preventing them from speaking. Do you not see how much she oppressed this poor man?"

He laughed, which served to piss her off even more and lead into another tirade about equality and women's rights.

A little experiment. How does this sound: another tirade about providing children with adequate care.

Does it sound a little odd to characterize a speech on such a topic as a "tirade"? I mean, it's a good thing to advocate, right? Any anger someone might feel while delivering such a speech would probably be described as righteous, and not worth the negative label of "tirade."

So why would you call a speech about, you know, women's equality, a "tirade"? what kind of assumptions are behind that word choice?

Just a thought.

(For the record, I was not offended by the shirt one bit and I would have had the most reason to be).

But ... you ... you just called it "highly offensive" up there! What? *minor brain splodey*

Well, whatever. I believe you. Because you totally wouldn't have any reason to be biased in favor of your boyfriend. And, you know, the fact that one woman isn't offended should mean that no women anywhere are offended. We feminists always say that women are a collective hive mind, you know.

(By the way, Ms. Sposato, this boyfriend sounds like a real winner. Thumbs up!)

The definition of feminism seems so varied anymore,

Political movements tend to do that. You know, as people learn from experience and try to modify theory to better service reality? And because feminists are not a hive mind?

much of it built up by political correctness

Totally a subject worthy of mockery!

and a few women who've "paved the way for others with their activism."

Totally a subject worthy ... uh, wait?

Sure, I'm grateful I can have a job, vote, and run for public office if I wanted to. I don't take those liberties lightly.

"I just take the people who earned us those liberties lightly. Huge difference!"

But I'm also grateful for the fact that I can have a baby if I want to, or be a stay at home mom, or make my boyfriend, someday husband, a great meal.

Which feminism also earned you the right to do. Because before the women's movement, you couldn't do these things "if [you] want to" - you did them because other people expected that you would. Feminists don't actually hate women who choose these things, okay? Stop listening to Rush Limbaugh for a second.

I'm completely fine with paying for my own movie, bringing home a paycheck, and paying my own bills. I'm also fine with the man taking me out, contributing to the house fund, and buying me a nice piece of jewelry every once in awhile.

Rule #6318 of feminism: Any time a man has the gall to buy you something shiny, you throw it back in his face. If it's pointy, gouge his eyes out with it. By god, he will learn his lesson.

From what I've seen, feminism has begun to turn into nothing more than tyrannical womanhood.

Ooh, ooh, do tell what it is that you've "seen." Books on feminist theory? Speeches by feminists? Political events by feminist groups?

Oh, wait, none of these? Huh.

(Besides, you want to talk about tyrannical womanhood? My uterus contracting like a frost-bitten testicle and disabling me for entire days - that is tyrannical womanhood. Some women trying to win equal pay for equal work ain't tyranny, no matter what the MRAs try to feed you.)

Why give up that part of us which made us a woman in the first place?

*solemn* Little known secret: women lose their ovaries when they become feminists. It's a sad thing, and luckily Ms. Sposato here is brave enough to reveal the truth.

Why not enjoy a man's attention, his touch, or his offer to be a man?

*pause*

*eye twitch*

I ...

*pause*

So what, praytell, was he before the offer? And does he realize that he doesn't need to boink a woman to earn his Y-chromosome?

Looks like someone needs an informational button.

I'm a feminist in my own mind.

And George Dubya is a leader in his, your point being?

I hold a job, work to make myself better, and wouldn't want less pay than a man for the same job. But being a feminist doesn't mean I have to stop being feminine.

Hey, she got something right! Whoo! *applause*

Men should feel free to pamper me, hold the car door open for me, and ask me if they can buy me dinner.

"But I'll understand if you think that returning the favor means that I'm trying to steal the Might Power of Your Penis!"

It's that little bit of manliness thrown my way

Lady, when I man starts lobbing his testicles at you, you run like fuck.

(Should I stop thinking about this? I probably should. But how ... thrown ... wait ... Oh. I feel a bad mental image coming on.

*pause*

Someone get the mental image of Manliness Bukakke out of my head. Out of my head!)

that reminds me of the true and natural power I have as a figure born with breasts.

Breastfeeding? Back problems? Madonna cone bras? The inability to run topless without pain?

And please....bring on the maternity policies.

We'll need them to supply the breeding farms for the Conservative Revolution.



See PunkAssBlog for further hilarious mockery!