posted by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sigelphoenix at 06:01pm on 13/07/2006 under anti-oppression and the evil *isms
sigelphoenix at 06:01pm on 13/07/2006 under anti-oppression and the evil *ismsOne of the common reactions of people who learn about their privilege is to go to the non-privileged group for education. It makes sense, in a way; privilege begets blindness in the privileged, so those who are most likely to have knowledge of privilege and its resultant oppression are members of the non-privileged group.
However. The follow-up to: "I just realized that people like me have been disadvantaging and taking advantage of people like you" should not be: "Now YOU come teach ME about how I've been screwing you over." Because, um, hello, sense of entitlement? One of your first steps should be learning to stop demanding things of the non-privileged group.
So. How do you get educated? I see a lot of frustration from well meaning privileged people who feel stuck, because on the one hand they're not supposed to make non-privileged people be their teachers - but on the other hand, without someone to teach them, how do they make sure not to hurt/offend/piss off people in the future?
Step 1: Put that frustration in context
The first thing to realize is that, much like the "You must teach me" reaction, bemoaning how hard you have it smacks of entitlement and privilege, and also belittles the hardships of the non-privileged.
Picture this: a group of women dedicated to feminism are met with a man who says that yes, sexism is bad, yes, he knows men perpetuate it, and yes, he would like to stop it - but then tells them that they should stop their work to educate him. The implicit assumption here, conscious or not, is that his needs ought to be catered to. (This is doubly troubling because of the historical treatment of women as caretakers of their male relations.)
After being told no, the man then goes on to complain that it's hard for him to stop being sexist if no one will teach him. This disregards the fact that women have a much harder time fighting sexism, since they start from a position of lesser power. It also elevates his own difficulties, as if they match or override the difficulties of women faced with sexism every day.
Yes, it's hard - you've just been exposed to the inequalities of society, you've realized that you are a participant and beneficiary of those inequalities, and now you're stuck on your road to education and self-improvement. No one's denying the difficulty of that position. Just remember who you're complaining to, and what they have to go through.
Step 2: Do it yourself
Okay, if that sounds callous ... well, it is. But there's a reason: anti-oppression work is pretty damn hard. There's the legal front, the workplace front, the educational front, the medical front, and on and on, each of them presenting their own special challenges due to the nature of the particular oppression. People who do this don't really have the time and energy to dedicate to individuals' education on privilege; essentially, you have to triage your efforts, so you end up focusing on the widespread issues.
As an individual person who's willing to learn about privilege, you're less of a problem than, say, blatantly discriminatory laws. Plus, you're perfectly capable of learning on your own. Even though you have privilege-blindness, that doesn't mean there aren't ample resources for you to use. I have used, and am using, these resources to rectify my own ignorance.
For example, I have here a bunch of good essays I've found about various kinds of privilege and oppression. If I found all of these within the past year, and on the Internet, no less - on LiveJournal, people - then you can't say that education is difficult to come by.
Try looking up "_____ privilege" on Google, and you'll be well on your way.
You can also, of course, try regular paper books. My university library has shelves and shelves dedicated to each minority group. If you have access to a university, taking a class is also a great way to start, because they're supposed to be teaching you. Any good introductory women or ethnic studies course should expose you to pieces of the anti-oppression canon.
But you want to talk to people, you say?
Step 3: Realize that we're already talking
One of the primary reasons you might be met with frustration is that anti-oppression workers have been trying the whole time to teach you about privilege - you just haven't heard them. Now that you've taken your fingers out of your ears and asked them to start again, from the beginning, their patience is wearing thin.
All of us have seen, and ignored, educational resources - by tuning out lectures on civil rights during Black History Month in school, by ignoring speakers and marches and events, by overlooking informative books, by refusing to go beyond our comfort zones and associate with people who don't share our race/class/gender/sexual orientation. Everyone does this. It isn't an unforgivable sin.
However, don't accuse the non-privileged of being close-mouthed when they've been bombarding you with potential resources, and you'll all get along much better.
Step 4: You can still ask (respectful, non-demanding) questions
Seriously. You can. We all need some personal interaction to complement the solitary study of our education, and mutually respectful conversation is the way to generate new ideas and work out differences. If you don't assume that people must answer your questions, and you are respectful of their difficulties, anger, and pain, you'll be fine.
Just remember that this is sort of an advanced step - asking basic questions like "Why can't we have White History Month too?" that are answered with rudimentary self-education is not a conversation.
Corollary the first: Be prepared to accept that you're wrong. I would almost say to assume that, if a non-privileged person disagrees with you, that person is probably correct. This isn't because non-privileged people have access to magical knowledge or a hive mind; it's because, as said above, privilege begets blindness. Each individual person who faces oppression isn't imbued with knowledge; however, in general, members of the non-privileged group will probably know more than you about a particular oppression.
In addition, a defensive reaction to being told you're wrong is probably a warning sign of privilege - privilege teaches you to believe that you deserve everything you have, and to resist criticism of the status quo. Your knee-jerk reaction will probably be to defend against dissent in others, just as you have silenced it in yourself.
Corollary the second: Allow for frustration from the non-privileged group. The circumstances surrounding this situation - from your (deliberate or not) ignorance, to your possible belligerence, to the oppression itself - cause a lot of stress and anger. These emotions work against patience and compassion, so don't expect the non-privileged group to be perfectly polite to you, as if you were just asking a neutral question to a neutral acquaintance. There is a history of injustice that colors your interaction, and it isn't fair to ask the non-privileged to pretend that it doesn't exist.
No matter how much you educate yourself, or how invested you become in fighting a particular oppression, it will never affect you as much as it affects the oppressed themselves. Remember that if ever you can't understand why people are more angry or impatient or worked up than you.
This essay partially inspired by Tekanji's How to be a Real Nice Guy and some issues raised in the responses. Read the article for a beginner's guide to working on privilege (more comprehensive than this).
However. The follow-up to: "I just realized that people like me have been disadvantaging and taking advantage of people like you" should not be: "Now YOU come teach ME about how I've been screwing you over." Because, um, hello, sense of entitlement? One of your first steps should be learning to stop demanding things of the non-privileged group.
So. How do you get educated? I see a lot of frustration from well meaning privileged people who feel stuck, because on the one hand they're not supposed to make non-privileged people be their teachers - but on the other hand, without someone to teach them, how do they make sure not to hurt/offend/piss off people in the future?
Step 1: Put that frustration in context
The first thing to realize is that, much like the "You must teach me" reaction, bemoaning how hard you have it smacks of entitlement and privilege, and also belittles the hardships of the non-privileged.
Picture this: a group of women dedicated to feminism are met with a man who says that yes, sexism is bad, yes, he knows men perpetuate it, and yes, he would like to stop it - but then tells them that they should stop their work to educate him. The implicit assumption here, conscious or not, is that his needs ought to be catered to. (This is doubly troubling because of the historical treatment of women as caretakers of their male relations.)
After being told no, the man then goes on to complain that it's hard for him to stop being sexist if no one will teach him. This disregards the fact that women have a much harder time fighting sexism, since they start from a position of lesser power. It also elevates his own difficulties, as if they match or override the difficulties of women faced with sexism every day.
Yes, it's hard - you've just been exposed to the inequalities of society, you've realized that you are a participant and beneficiary of those inequalities, and now you're stuck on your road to education and self-improvement. No one's denying the difficulty of that position. Just remember who you're complaining to, and what they have to go through.
Step 2: Do it yourself
Okay, if that sounds callous ... well, it is. But there's a reason: anti-oppression work is pretty damn hard. There's the legal front, the workplace front, the educational front, the medical front, and on and on, each of them presenting their own special challenges due to the nature of the particular oppression. People who do this don't really have the time and energy to dedicate to individuals' education on privilege; essentially, you have to triage your efforts, so you end up focusing on the widespread issues.
As an individual person who's willing to learn about privilege, you're less of a problem than, say, blatantly discriminatory laws. Plus, you're perfectly capable of learning on your own. Even though you have privilege-blindness, that doesn't mean there aren't ample resources for you to use. I have used, and am using, these resources to rectify my own ignorance.
For example, I have here a bunch of good essays I've found about various kinds of privilege and oppression. If I found all of these within the past year, and on the Internet, no less - on LiveJournal, people - then you can't say that education is difficult to come by.
Try looking up "_____ privilege" on Google, and you'll be well on your way.
You can also, of course, try regular paper books. My university library has shelves and shelves dedicated to each minority group. If you have access to a university, taking a class is also a great way to start, because they're supposed to be teaching you. Any good introductory women or ethnic studies course should expose you to pieces of the anti-oppression canon.
But you want to talk to people, you say?
Step 3: Realize that we're already talking
One of the primary reasons you might be met with frustration is that anti-oppression workers have been trying the whole time to teach you about privilege - you just haven't heard them. Now that you've taken your fingers out of your ears and asked them to start again, from the beginning, their patience is wearing thin.
All of us have seen, and ignored, educational resources - by tuning out lectures on civil rights during Black History Month in school, by ignoring speakers and marches and events, by overlooking informative books, by refusing to go beyond our comfort zones and associate with people who don't share our race/class/gender/sexual orientation. Everyone does this. It isn't an unforgivable sin.
However, don't accuse the non-privileged of being close-mouthed when they've been bombarding you with potential resources, and you'll all get along much better.
Step 4: You can still ask (respectful, non-demanding) questions
Seriously. You can. We all need some personal interaction to complement the solitary study of our education, and mutually respectful conversation is the way to generate new ideas and work out differences. If you don't assume that people must answer your questions, and you are respectful of their difficulties, anger, and pain, you'll be fine.
Just remember that this is sort of an advanced step - asking basic questions like "Why can't we have White History Month too?" that are answered with rudimentary self-education is not a conversation.
Corollary the first: Be prepared to accept that you're wrong. I would almost say to assume that, if a non-privileged person disagrees with you, that person is probably correct. This isn't because non-privileged people have access to magical knowledge or a hive mind; it's because, as said above, privilege begets blindness. Each individual person who faces oppression isn't imbued with knowledge; however, in general, members of the non-privileged group will probably know more than you about a particular oppression.
In addition, a defensive reaction to being told you're wrong is probably a warning sign of privilege - privilege teaches you to believe that you deserve everything you have, and to resist criticism of the status quo. Your knee-jerk reaction will probably be to defend against dissent in others, just as you have silenced it in yourself.
Corollary the second: Allow for frustration from the non-privileged group. The circumstances surrounding this situation - from your (deliberate or not) ignorance, to your possible belligerence, to the oppression itself - cause a lot of stress and anger. These emotions work against patience and compassion, so don't expect the non-privileged group to be perfectly polite to you, as if you were just asking a neutral question to a neutral acquaintance. There is a history of injustice that colors your interaction, and it isn't fair to ask the non-privileged to pretend that it doesn't exist.
No matter how much you educate yourself, or how invested you become in fighting a particular oppression, it will never affect you as much as it affects the oppressed themselves. Remember that if ever you can't understand why people are more angry or impatient or worked up than you.
This essay partially inspired by Tekanji's How to be a Real Nice Guy and some issues raised in the responses. Read the article for a beginner's guide to working on privilege (more comprehensive than this).