posted by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sigelphoenix at 02:50pm on 20/09/2006 under personal stuff
sigelphoenix at 02:50pm on 20/09/2006 under personal stuffI'm whining. I know it. It's gratuitious. I know it. But I need to take a break from work and just spit this out, because I've been on the verge of tears nearly all day.
I'm just overwhelmed by things right now; pressures and deadlines and worries and hurts. My work is threatening to smother me (not really through any individual person's fault, just an accumulation of projects). I just got laid out for two days with illness, and it's hard to get back on my feet when I'm running around all day. There are other worries I have, things that are a bit more personal and not worth airing publically. On top of everything (and probably because of everything), I woke myself up in the middle of the night with a panic attack - which, if you've never had one, is not an easy thing - which kind of freaked me out because I haven't had one since high school (oh, and also once a few months ago, but that was because I woke up from a particularly vivid zombie nightmare. um.).
None of these things is overwhelming on its own; I just ... I would like to turn to one part of my life right now that isn't causing me some amount of stress - work, school, or personal - and right now that's hard to find. I know that's selfish, and that there are plenty of other people who are having worse weeks than me (probably people reading this very post). I'm not asking for pity; I just really want a way to vent, and right now in the middle of work this is all I've got.
(I'm not too proud to say that I wouldn't mind a hug or some pettin's right now, though. I'm just not asking anyone to 'poor baby' me because I'm fully aware I don't deserve it. Really, I'm not asking for anyone to try to fix my life.)
Will this stress end? Of course it will. Can I fix it myself? Some if it, yeah. But some of it is just going to take plain old time to get resolved, and in the mean time, I feel like I'm gradually getting squeezed by a giant fist.
I'm going to go home tonight, rest up, and make myself a comfort dinner of spaghetti (pasta cures all ills). And then maybe curl up with a book. And hopefully win some relaxation.
For all of you out there dealing with your own troubles, I wish you the same.
I'm just overwhelmed by things right now; pressures and deadlines and worries and hurts. My work is threatening to smother me (not really through any individual person's fault, just an accumulation of projects). I just got laid out for two days with illness, and it's hard to get back on my feet when I'm running around all day. There are other worries I have, things that are a bit more personal and not worth airing publically. On top of everything (and probably because of everything), I woke myself up in the middle of the night with a panic attack - which, if you've never had one, is not an easy thing - which kind of freaked me out because I haven't had one since high school (oh, and also once a few months ago, but that was because I woke up from a particularly vivid zombie nightmare. um.).
None of these things is overwhelming on its own; I just ... I would like to turn to one part of my life right now that isn't causing me some amount of stress - work, school, or personal - and right now that's hard to find. I know that's selfish, and that there are plenty of other people who are having worse weeks than me (probably people reading this very post). I'm not asking for pity; I just really want a way to vent, and right now in the middle of work this is all I've got.
(I'm not too proud to say that I wouldn't mind a hug or some pettin's right now, though. I'm just not asking anyone to 'poor baby' me because I'm fully aware I don't deserve it. Really, I'm not asking for anyone to try to fix my life.)
Will this stress end? Of course it will. Can I fix it myself? Some if it, yeah. But some of it is just going to take plain old time to get resolved, and in the mean time, I feel like I'm gradually getting squeezed by a giant fist.
I'm going to go home tonight, rest up, and make myself a comfort dinner of spaghetti (pasta cures all ills). And then maybe curl up with a book. And hopefully win some relaxation.
For all of you out there dealing with your own troubles, I wish you the same.