sigelphoenix

Co-worker 1: "Oh, I see, you're not here to visit me. You just want to sit on my couch."
Co-worker 2: "I don't love you, I just love your couch."
Co-worker 3: "Really? That's what my whole marriage is based on."

Co-worker 3: "You don't like PDFs? Just use the 'Microsoft Word' button. It's the big green one on the front of your computer that's lit up. Press it and hold for about ten seconds."
(After listening to Co-worker 1 talk about someone complaining about needing to use PDFs.)

Student: "You have tiny wrists!"
(This one really was random, because I was waiting for the student to get his paperwork together, and he just looked at me and blurted that.)