sigelphoenix

What the fuck is wrong with sexist men who constantly paint themselves as fucking victims?*

GayProf tackles specific instances of two common issues: misogyny and homophobia in the (educational) workplace, and misogyny and homophobia in popular culture. These two cases, of a sexist/homophobic university professor and a sexist/homophobic Burger King commercial, demonstrate the common tactics of those who are threatened by feminism and queer rights: belittling ("check your vaginas at the door"), appropriating (turning "I Am Woman" into "Manthem"), and, as GayProf describes, complaining that those who oppose them are humorless or too "politically correct."

The underlying implication is that those who hold traditional positions of power by being male, straight, and - the extension is easy to make - white, rich, etc., are defending themselves against offenses. Women asking for rights is annoying - so clearly, a fast food commercial about reclaiming caveman-esque "masculinity" is not only funny, but justified. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, see tekanji's post on it.) Women's lib is done, and now it's men's turn. After all, we feminazis (and queer activists, and anti-racists, and other such rabble-rousers) have now skewed the world so that we hold the power over them. Don't you see the logic?

You know, I don't know why I haven't seen it before. Straight white men all over the world are suffering from this hidden oppression! Is it that bad? Of course it's that bad! According to comic artist Erik Larsen, large-breasted cheesecake female characters are now an embattled minority, victims of feminazi censorship!

I think I speak for all intelligent people when I say: WHAT ABOUT TEH POOR MENZ!!?! I mean, just look at what they have to go through: Not enough female bodies to objectify! Oh, the horror.

So let me say something that needs saying:

I apologize to the Straight White Man. I am so very sorry that you, who control 99.99% of the power in the economy, politics, popular culture, education, and sexuality are feeling so put-upon. I know you long for the days when it was a good old 100% that you had under your belt, with no one to question otherwise. But alas, times have been changing, and in doing so they have been chipping away at your historically entrenched hegemonic power. These have been small changes, of course, but I can only imagine the kind of pain it causes you to lose that .01%. Please accept my deepest, heartfelt apologies for inconveniencing you with my yellow, vagina-bearing, queer-friendly self, and for - silly me! - daring to ask for my share of human consideration. What folly, I know.

Rest assured, I will cease such offenses immediately. I also have no intention of telling you where to go, or what to shove up where. None in the slightest.

Also, as with all feminists, I have no sense of humor. Indeed, I never laugh or show other signs of amusement, for I excised my humor the moment I learned about women's rights, at the same moment that I burned my bra. I don't know how to take a joke, and I certainly don't know how to make one.


*Insert obligatory disclaimer about men-who-aren't-like-that here. If anyone comes away from this thinking that I "hate all guys" or am "sexist against men," I may break something. Like the person in question. Read this if you don't get why criticizing patriarchy doesn't mean hating men.