sigelphoenix

Two members of the Duke lacrosse team have been arrested and charged.

If you've been hiding in a cave and have somehow not heard anything about the Duke rape case, you can get a rundown of the story by going here. In a nutshell, the victim is a black female student from North Carolina Central University (historically black) and working mother, who was hired as an exotic dancer for a party by members of the lacrosse team at Duke (historically ... well). After being driven out of the party by racial slurs, she returned and was allegedly beaten and raped. Issues of sex, race, class, and the attending domination and entitlement, are rampant.

I've been following this story intermittently over the past few weeks, and sometimes I have to ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist. Cowardly, I know, but sometimes I feel so much anger and fear and sadness that I don't think I could find enough tears or shouting or violence to express.

Because what does this case, and the scenario described within it, make me think of? Yes, the "big three" of racism/sexism/classism - the overarching systems of inequality that permeate society. But also? Individual helplessness in the face of all of that. Because she's just one woman. A woman attempting to prosecute her rapist has a hard enough time, but she's also black, a stripper, and struggling financially: vulnerable to being dehumanized in so many ways. There's an entire system of power arrayed against her - an old, strong, entrenched culture that she has to face. It's not just wealth, or whiteness, or maleness that she has to face from her alleged attackers. It's more than that - it's the smug sense of entitlement, of superiority, that the culture infuses into people due to those qualities. Duke has had a long history of suffering mistreatment from athletes - from the lacrosse team in particular - because they are people who have never heard the word "no." Or, at least, heard it and had to obey. And if you think that sense of entitlement has nothing to do with being rich white boys - well, I just hope to God you're never on the opposite side of that power equation.

But it's not just lacrosse, or Duke, of course. It's everywhere. Everyone who's gone to high school with athletes knows the "boys will be boys" tolerance accorded to them (though whether they abused it is another matter). And anyone who's taken a long hard look at oppression knows the ways in which prejudice feeds into that mentality - most often sexism and homophobia, but racism and classism are hardly rare. And if you want to see it in action? Just look at some of the blog posts being made about the issue. News stories, too - though they're more subtle about it. On the other hand, you can try looking at the more equitable treatment being given to the story in the left-leaning blogs - Pandagon, Alas, a Blog, Feministe - and read the comments there. Again, a lot of people try to couch their bigotry in soft words, but some don't. And you can read the sentiments there anyway - She's probably lying about being raped. She's just playing the race card. She's a stripper, so she can't be believed. She's a stripper, so she can't be raped. And, of course, They're good boys - because they're athletes, because they're rich and respectable. The minimization of the athletes' previous behavior as merely "inappropriate." The scoffing dismissal of the possibility that race played a role because racism somehow doesn't happen anymore.

It's here. It's not in some hidden corner of society. It's not only in this school, or that. It's in the everyday people all around us. I see it now, in a specific case - but this isn't new. I see and hear this shit all the time. More now that I've learned to read between the lines. Oh, it's "better" than it was before - 100 years ago? 50? But there's still way, way too much of it. It's there, and so many people buy into it, and so many people don't even care, that sometimes I don't even know what deluded dream could lead me to believe that I might somehow chip away at it.

I feel powerless. And yes, this is about power. The power of rich, white men to think nothing of sexually violating a poor, black woman. Maybe not in this particular case - there's always the possibility - but if not here, then goddamn everywhere else. Women getting hurt. Blacks getting hurt. Lesbians getting hurt. It's about domination, degradation, humiliation - the ability to bleed power and superiority out of someone else. And the ability, if you're the right kind of person, to have society let you do it.

It is absolutely vital, however, not to make the victim a symbol, or turn her story into some mythic representation of all oppression. The alleged crime happened to a real person. Whatever we can say about patterns of behavior or theories on society, she is more than a statistic or a news byte. She felt it and experienced it, and now has to keep experiencing it until this case is over - and forever afterward. what does that feel like, and what is it doing to her? I have no fucking clue. But this story ... it's a reminder. It triggers realizations. Realizations that make me feel tired and smothered and enraged and silenced and scared. And will I keep fighting and hoping? Of course. But it's never, never easy.

This is not my post for Blog to Raise Awareness About Sexual Violence. I had a different one planned, which I'll write later. Maybe.