sigelphoenix (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sigelphoenix) wrote2008-10-13 02:29 pm
sigelphoenix) wrote2008-10-13 02:29 pm
Entry tags:
Because I need this
I did this once before, but I think I need to do it again, because a straightforward list of "5 happy things" isn't much help when my mind is still occupied by stress even with the happiness. So let's try it again.
1. I feel like I'm getting crushed by the pressure at work. One of our admissions deadlines is coming up, and it's my program, so that means it's my job to ... well, do it. I need to make the process happen, from beginning to end. That means I'll be up to my ears in work, that I'll be wrestling with bureaucracy and administrative details, that I'll be wrestling with people, that I'll be fighting off the feeling of terror that comes with undertaking the highest-responsibility, highest-stakes project I've ever had to do at a job.
BUT - I have a strong support network of co-workers, including my boss, who has done all this before and is patiently providing assistance and answers to my questions. I'm glad to learn to do something as significant as this, and at least I have a relatively safe environment in which to learn. There isn't much more support I could ask for.
2. I'm worrying over my kitty like a new mom with a baby, and even though nothing is seriously wrong, the tension is gnawing at me. I'm worried about his eating habits, I'm worried about his poop, I'm worried about his need for attention, I'm worried about his attempts to scratch our mattress ...
BUT - nothing is seriously wrong. I need to remember this. Most of what I'm worried about are things that are worthy of observation, but not necessarily causes for alarm. Kershach is still settling into his new home, and we're still settling in with him - it's been just over a week, so I can't expect things to be perfect right now. And besides ... he still fulfills the reasons I wanted a cat in the first place: a loving, purring, silly little ball of fluff who makes me smile.
3. My body is messed up six ways to Sunday, it feels like. I've been on-and-off fighting off the autumn sickness that's going around for the past few weeks. This is made worse by PMS - now, my PMS is much less burdensome than many women's, but the one major problem I get is that my body is thrown off balance for a week or two before I actually get my period, and I'm even more susceptible to sickness at this time than I usually am. On top of that, stress is wreaking havoc with my digestive system, which means that I'm battling stomachaches and bouts of nausea at various times throughout the day.
BUT - I'm still well enough to more-or-less function. I've only missed a little bit in the way of work or social events. That's better than some of my coworkers, who have been out for days at a time. My health sucks at the moment, but it could be much worse. I'm still healthier than I was in college.
4. I spend so much of the time that I'm not at work, trying to recover from work/stress/illness, that I feel like I haven't gotten the time to do the things I want to do: play video games with![[insanejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/ij-userinfo.gif)
ratzeo, write fic for game, work on my Halloween costume, play with my cat ... hell, catch my breath.
BUT - those around me are being supremely patient (well, maybe not my cat) with my lack of free time.ratzeo is both encouraging me and tolerating me as I navigate through all this, and I couldn't ask for a stronger pillar of support at home.
5. Now, I know this is a really silly complaint: I feel like I don't have time to see everyone I want to see, or join all the social events I want to attend. My schedule is booked, or I don't feel well enough, or caught up enough, to go out.
Yeah, I know I'm pretty damn lucky to have so many friends whose company I enjoy, and who live in the same city as me so that I have the option to visit them. And if I have to miss out on one or two get-togethers right now, I know that they'll still welcome me next time.
1. I feel like I'm getting crushed by the pressure at work. One of our admissions deadlines is coming up, and it's my program, so that means it's my job to ... well, do it. I need to make the process happen, from beginning to end. That means I'll be up to my ears in work, that I'll be wrestling with bureaucracy and administrative details, that I'll be wrestling with people, that I'll be fighting off the feeling of terror that comes with undertaking the highest-responsibility, highest-stakes project I've ever had to do at a job.
BUT - I have a strong support network of co-workers, including my boss, who has done all this before and is patiently providing assistance and answers to my questions. I'm glad to learn to do something as significant as this, and at least I have a relatively safe environment in which to learn. There isn't much more support I could ask for.
2. I'm worrying over my kitty like a new mom with a baby, and even though nothing is seriously wrong, the tension is gnawing at me. I'm worried about his eating habits, I'm worried about his poop, I'm worried about his need for attention, I'm worried about his attempts to scratch our mattress ...
BUT - nothing is seriously wrong. I need to remember this. Most of what I'm worried about are things that are worthy of observation, but not necessarily causes for alarm. Kershach is still settling into his new home, and we're still settling in with him - it's been just over a week, so I can't expect things to be perfect right now. And besides ... he still fulfills the reasons I wanted a cat in the first place: a loving, purring, silly little ball of fluff who makes me smile.
3. My body is messed up six ways to Sunday, it feels like. I've been on-and-off fighting off the autumn sickness that's going around for the past few weeks. This is made worse by PMS - now, my PMS is much less burdensome than many women's, but the one major problem I get is that my body is thrown off balance for a week or two before I actually get my period, and I'm even more susceptible to sickness at this time than I usually am. On top of that, stress is wreaking havoc with my digestive system, which means that I'm battling stomachaches and bouts of nausea at various times throughout the day.
BUT - I'm still well enough to more-or-less function. I've only missed a little bit in the way of work or social events. That's better than some of my coworkers, who have been out for days at a time. My health sucks at the moment, but it could be much worse. I'm still healthier than I was in college.
4. I spend so much of the time that I'm not at work, trying to recover from work/stress/illness, that I feel like I haven't gotten the time to do the things I want to do: play video games with
ratzeo, write fic for game, work on my Halloween costume, play with my cat ... hell, catch my breath.BUT - those around me are being supremely patient (well, maybe not my cat) with my lack of free time.
ratzeo is both encouraging me and tolerating me as I navigate through all this, and I couldn't ask for a stronger pillar of support at home.5. Now, I know this is a really silly complaint: I feel like I don't have time to see everyone I want to see, or join all the social events I want to attend. My schedule is booked, or I don't feel well enough, or caught up enough, to go out.
Yeah, I know I'm pretty damn lucky to have so many friends whose company I enjoy, and who live in the same city as me so that I have the option to visit them. And if I have to miss out on one or two get-togethers right now, I know that they'll still welcome me next time.
no subject
2. Regarding the cat stuff... this is your first pet, if I recall? I know you lived with my cats for a year but I did all the ownership bits of that. It'll take some getting used to :)
5. Yeah, I've felt like this for the last 3 or 4 years :)
no subject
2. Yup, your cats were my only pet experience (and good for familiarizing me with general cat behavior). I've never had to be the caretaker who worries about keeping the cat happy, with things like which food is the right food, how much is too much, etc. Remembering that yes, I will eventually learn (most of) it all, is helping.
5. I'm sure it doesn't help that you now have CoH adding to your social life. ;)