sigelphoenix (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sigelphoenix) wrote2008-02-18 04:45 pm
sigelphoenix) wrote2008-02-18 04:45 pm
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I think this is my body's way of being nice to me.
I think going out for happy hour last night wasn't the greatest idea. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick and in pain. I'm still getting over it at this point, though I've improved. I've almost eaten an entire can of soup without my body rejecting it. Of course, being my body, it is very indecisive about the whole thing, and wibbles back and forth as to whether it will let me digest or not. So no risk of violent rejection right now, just a lot of uncomfortable physical displeasure. (Yes, I am indecisive down to my organs.)
However, it is almost suspiciously convenient that I felt totally fine all day Saturday, when I gorged myself on seafood and steak, and all day Sunday, when I ate my weight in junk food, and only got sick the night before a day when I had nothing planned. This means that I got to enjoy my Valentine's double date with![[insanejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/ij-userinfo.gif)
shadawyn and irishninja at Salty's, the Warmakers slumber party at jack_grimm's, and the Warmakers adventure itself. And I'm not even missing any work by staying home because it's a national holiday.
Hmm.
In other news, things are progressing well on the "stop being an emo wanker" front. I've been pretty active for the past several days, and haven't been assailed by periods of listless, draining self-doubt. Admittedly, this might be because I haven't had the time for such - I've been running around non-stop since Saturday, and socializing more than usual during the week rather than spending my evenings at home. But hey, temporary solutions are just as welcome as more permanent ones.
It wasn't that I was completely free from this whatever-it-is that's been bugging me, but it was a lot less ... oh, I don't know, fatalistic? My normal level of doubt is something along the lines of "I'm not being very smart/creative/witty (or not as smart/creative/witty as everyone else) right now," whereas my problem lately is the feeling of "I am not, and will not ever, be very smart/etc." This weekend I managed to keep myself closer to the former than the latter.
Some small things that helped, besides being kept crazy busy: the weather broke this weekend, so we enjoyed some honest-to-goodness sunshine (and the heavy wool coat I wore over my dress for the Salty's brunch was largely unnecessary). Also, I purposefully left my DS at home, so whenever I had downtime I couldn't mindlessly video game, but instead read my book, Color of Violence. I only got through the introduction and part of one essay, but I certainly feel better about my time spent on that rather than my DS. Also, I will hopefully have enough read by this Friday that I can contribute something worthwhile to my group's NWSA planning meeting.
Current progress is good. Just gotta keep it up.
However, it is almost suspiciously convenient that I felt totally fine all day Saturday, when I gorged myself on seafood and steak, and all day Sunday, when I ate my weight in junk food, and only got sick the night before a day when I had nothing planned. This means that I got to enjoy my Valentine's double date with
shadawyn and irishninja at Salty's, the Warmakers slumber party at jack_grimm's, and the Warmakers adventure itself. And I'm not even missing any work by staying home because it's a national holiday.Hmm.
In other news, things are progressing well on the "stop being an emo wanker" front. I've been pretty active for the past several days, and haven't been assailed by periods of listless, draining self-doubt. Admittedly, this might be because I haven't had the time for such - I've been running around non-stop since Saturday, and socializing more than usual during the week rather than spending my evenings at home. But hey, temporary solutions are just as welcome as more permanent ones.
It wasn't that I was completely free from this whatever-it-is that's been bugging me, but it was a lot less ... oh, I don't know, fatalistic? My normal level of doubt is something along the lines of "I'm not being very smart/creative/witty (or not as smart/creative/witty as everyone else) right now," whereas my problem lately is the feeling of "I am not, and will not ever, be very smart/etc." This weekend I managed to keep myself closer to the former than the latter.
Some small things that helped, besides being kept crazy busy: the weather broke this weekend, so we enjoyed some honest-to-goodness sunshine (and the heavy wool coat I wore over my dress for the Salty's brunch was largely unnecessary). Also, I purposefully left my DS at home, so whenever I had downtime I couldn't mindlessly video game, but instead read my book, Color of Violence. I only got through the introduction and part of one essay, but I certainly feel better about my time spent on that rather than my DS. Also, I will hopefully have enough read by this Friday that I can contribute something worthwhile to my group's NWSA planning meeting.
Current progress is good. Just gotta keep it up.
no subject
I'm glad you're clawing out of your funk, and making progress.
(And I understand your fatalistic attitude--I suffer from that a lot. Damn my lack of self-confidence! I'm glad yours is a temporary issue :D)
no subject
Self-doubt just seems to be part of the way I operate, and at this point I'm just accepting it (no need to beat myself up for not being good enough to overcome my own self-doubt ... that's just a recipe for disaster). What I'm trying to focus my energy on is keeping the symptoms in check, and not letting it hinder me too much. (Good luck with your own battle, too!)